So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize