I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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