Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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