i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I checked into jail on foursquare
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
