the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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