The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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