You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I need a beard to bite.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
