He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
