One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
