They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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