We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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