Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
