Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
