He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You're like the curious george of whores
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
