I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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