Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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