five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
