first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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