We're like a lot better than the average bears
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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