This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize