hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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