I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
