Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
