make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
