I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
