You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
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