Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
