I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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