forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
