Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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