walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
