told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
