Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
