Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
