I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I miss vodka workout Fridays
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize