put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
