so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
