YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Actions speak louder than pants.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
