and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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