I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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