His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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