My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
