if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
