What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
only you would photoshop your dick
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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