shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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