maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
