I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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