If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
