Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Everclear isn't food dammit
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize