every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
