The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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