Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I need a beard to bite.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize