I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
