tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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