your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
