its not stalking. its research.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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