i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Drunk is a universal language darling
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
