i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
