Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
