i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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