All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
