Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize